By Mitch Koehler
Hey Slasher Victim. So we talked about a month ago, and you enlightened me on a number of things. One, being you’re a filmmaker. The other was your masterpiece, REEL.
1. First off, what’s your “reel” name?
My name is SlasherVictim666. I am the greatest director of all time and keeper of The Golden House. Before I was on my path I was known as John McKuttle but John is no more and SlasherVictim666 is forever. On the street if you yelled ‘John!’ – I would not answer.
2. Where did you grow up? Where are you at now?
I grew up a few kilometers away from Bradburry, Ontario, Canada. I lived on a farm in the woods with my family. Now I live in Toronto because this is where you need to be in Canada if you want to takeover Hollywood and I will be in Hollywood very soon.
3. When we first met, you spoke a lot about family, and how Hollywood can be draining or take advantage of an indie moviemaker. What is true? What were your experiences with selling your movie?
Wow. I could answer this one all day but I will be brief. I made this movie about Todd and my family and then I meet this guy named Chris Goodwin (or as I call him Piss Goodwin). He offered to buy my debut masterpiece and put us on a fast track to Hollywood. Then years pass and I find out that not only has he done nothing but he also put his name on my masterpiece movie! How is that possible? Since then I have had many other offers to sell my movie (which would get us closer to Hollywood) but I am locked in for now. This is something I am currently trying to fix.
4. What is a Golden House film? What makes a Golden House film, “Golden House”?
This is the best question yet. Hollywood lies to us my friends. All the time. Many years ago it stole our dreams and twisted them up and now they sell it back to us at triple the cost. The Golden House is the Cinema of Truth. It is why my masterpieces are called REEL Hollywood is fake my friends but I will never lie to you.
There have been many movies before that were almost from The Golden House but there have only been 3 that were true….
L’Age d’Or by Luis Bunuel
Scorpio Rising by Kenneth Anger
Outer Space by Peter Tscherkassky
Now I am next to carry on the tradition with my series of REEL masterpieces.
5. Was REEL the first movie you made?
Yes. It was my debut masterpiece. My family had been making movies for about 70 years. Some of their footage is in REEL and I will put some more in REEL 2. I had been trying to make by debut for about a decade (since I was about 14) but my family was not very supportive and would mostly laugh at me and say ‘…you really are worthless…’. I told them we should turn our footage into a movie so we can move to Hollywood but they didn’t listen. That’s why I knew I had to move to Toronto to finish my debut alone. I do have to give my family credit though for helping me in the end.
6. You talk a lot about finding “stars”. What makes a star in your mind? Who is your star now and how did you find him/her?
That’s tough to answer my friend. I looked for so many years for my first star but when I found Todd I knew he was made for Hollywood. Part of the reason was he grew up in the same town as me so I thought I might be able to use that to my advantage. My stars since then have been many. To make sure they are worthy I usually do proper auditions (see picture I attached). In the end I promise I will find 666 stars.
7. I’ve said before that I’ve never really been a fan of Found Footage films, like Blair Witch Project or VHS. But when I saw REEL I was uniquely intrigued by Todd Smith’s personality. He seems like a cool guy. Is he as cool to work with? And where is he now?
Oh yes! He is the coolest person I have ever met. Let me correct that. He was the coolest person I had ever met until I met my assistant Jane. I understood Todd. He was just on the wrong path.
He needed me to help him get the fame he deserves and now that he’s in The Golden House forever we can worship him properly.
8. Did you go to school for directing or is it something you discovered on your own?
School makes you weak and dumb. I had to tell my assistant Jane to drop out. I learned everything I needed to learn from my families 70 years of making movies. Reel knowledge. Not fake lies. My family had video cameras in their hands at all times and stars were always around us out in the country. Then my family would watch the footage on the couch. I was always learning no matter what they were doing.
9. How many REEL films will there be? Will there be a new Todd Smith?
I will make REEL 2 and REEL 3 and REEL 4 and REEL 5 and REEL 6 and REEL forever until 666 stars have visited The Golden House. However long it takes. Decades. Every star is special though like a snowflake. Todd can never be replaced.
10. What can we expect from you in the next few years?
To takeover Hollywood of course! I am making REEL 2 right now and also looking at stars for REEL 3. So expect many more Reel’s soon!
Also every Friday Night at 9pm EST is the Secret Screening of REEL 1. This is where my new family gathers and we watch my debut masterpiece and I show everyone some more secret stuff!
These weekly Secret Screenings are also very important for me to get the necessary power I need from all my little horror familians. Without them and their energy coursing through my veins…I would be nothing. So please everyone come to the Secret Friday Night Screening. Contact me firstname.lastname@example.org and I will put you on the Secret Guest List!
I also want to say I am the New New Hollywood. Me and my New Family are coming for the Hollywood Hills. This is our world now and you cannot stop us. Michael Myers is fake and old. I am Reel and New. I am the Boogeyman of now. Quit your social media accounts and then rejoin them and only follow me because I only want to follow you. Forever.